Jumbled Thoughts

You wanna know how I feel... what format would you like it in?

I'm hurt. I could formulate a catchy phrase or even a relatable blog post but this situation is unique to me. I went in knowing I could get hurt. I was genuinely interested in you. You, are a fascinating human being. Rough around the edges but no one is perfect. But to me, you are nothing but perfect. Through it all I see the good, the light, and the future. I want you to shine as bright as the sun. Be who you were determined to be. I could never say a bad thing about you when maybe I should. Perhaps you really effected me, maybe I needed help and saving. Not you but me. We’re ending prematurely but I’m glad I had you even it if was for a minute of time. So new but I felt like you were my safe place.

Another Monday - wondering how long we'll go this week [time]. I'm immune to the grief, anxiety, and even hopelessness - thanks for that. I'm not sure how much I have left in me. The tank is on 'E' but I'm still going. On a dirt road in the countryside with no gas station in sight. Will I make it? Or will I come up short? At that point i'll be forced to walk away from the car in hopes of finding one along the never ending road of betrayal. 

It must give you a peace of mind knowing I cared too much. That someone could care like I did. Never thought I could encounter someone as broken as I. Seems like I met my match, toward the end you were able to get ahead to ease your nerves. I could have loved you but it never would have worked. You’ve drawn the life out of me like it was blood.

It’s hard when you lose excitement for the things you worked so hard for. I’m accomplishing things I never dreamed of. I’ve worked countless hours, days, years for this. I’m here and none of that even matters.

Certain things make me smile and want to wish you well. Others still consume my mind I almost feel like you deserve that kind of hurt, too. But you don’t, no one deserves to be that hurt. </3


“L.P”