That's right, clapback season is in full swing. I've compiled 36 THANKSGIVING CLAPBACK responses you’ll need for this upcoming holiday.
We all have family members who throw the ultimate shade. Whether it's intentional or not it grinds our gears. One thing is for sure, we’re not beat to put up with Aunt Sheera's bullsh*t this year. I know I'm not the only one feeling helpless, overwhelmed as well as five pounds heavier. When you're 20-something there are so many questions that can set you off. Don't fret, I've got you covered! This year, I don't feel compelled to answer anything I don't want to and you shouldn't either. Less explaining more shade throwing - we're bringing petty to the next level. We're coming for aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, misters, brothers, mothers, grandparents... YOU NAME IT. Thank me later 😏
1. Aunt: "I heard you started smoking weed...hmm how’s ya grades looking?"
Me: "I heard you got fired... how’s them bills looking?"
2. Uncle: Your mom's been telling me you need to raise your GPA."
Me: "Your wife's been telling me you need to raise your kids.
3. Aunt: "You gained some weight, niece."
Me: "that happens when you consume something besides crack."
4. Grandma: "Pull up your pants."
me: "Pull up your titties."
5. Aunt: "Stop playing with your phone at the table."
Me: "Stop playing with them crackheads under the bridge."
6. Auntie: "Your attitude is so nasty."
Me: "Like your mac n cheese."
7. Aunt: "Your mom let you out of the house lookin' that."
Me: "Your son can't even leave the house."
8. Grandpa: "Why aren’t you eating anything? Don’t be rude."
Me: "What’s rude is the lack of seasoning your wife used in this turkey."
9. Aunt: "You still messin' with that girl with the baby??"
Me: "You still messin' with that man with the wife??"
10. Older cousin: "Damn, what did you use to dry those dishes?"
Me: "Your cornbread."
11. Older cousin: “You still put on all that makeup??!!”
Me: “You still put on all that weight?”"
12. Uncle: "How’s your GPA?"
Me: "Higher than your account balance."
13. Uncle: How's school?
Me: How's meth?
14. Uncle: You still trying to be a "rapper" or did you get a real job?
Me: You still trying to be in a "marriage" or did you get a divorce?
15. Cousin: How many plates you gonna have before dessert?
Me: how many kids you going to have before 22?
16. Aunt: "You still “bisexual?”
Me: "You still by yourself? "
17. Sister: "I didn't drink when I was your age"
Me: can't drink when your pregnant...🙃
18. Aunt: you know tattoos are a life time commitment
Me: but your marriage wasn't.
19. Uncle:“ why are your eyes red after walking to the store with your cousins?”
Me:“ Why's your wife always limping after staying late after church to talk to Father Marcus?”
20. Cousin: “When I was 18, I handled my responsibilities.”
Me: “because you were a mother.”
21. Auntie: “you cheating on your diet again?”
Me: “you cheating on your husband again?”
22. Sister: “Why's your temper so short?”
Me: “Why's your pony tail so short?”
23. Uncle: “Do you ever pay attention?”
Me: “Do you ever pay rent?”
24. Aunt: “You be stealing my recipes”
Mom: “Like I stole your man in High School”
25. Brother: “Come with some better jokes.”
Sister: “Come with a better girl.”
26. Auntie: "what happened to your little boyfriend?"
Me: "He left like ya edges."
27. Ex: "I don't know where that dent in your car came from."
Me: "I dont where that dent in your career came from."
28. Aunt: "If you keep eating like that you'll get fat."
Mom: "I see you speak from experience."
29. Aunt: "Why do you have all mix matched socks?"
Me: "Why do your kids all have mix matched dads?"
30. Aunt: "I see you put on some pounds."
Me: "Yes, in my wallet...but how's unemployment."
31. Uncle: your clapbacks are weak."
Me: "Like your pull out game." *stares at his kids*
32. Cousin: "Why are you always drinking?"
Me: " Do you want some? I know there's no food stamp for that."
33. Uncle: "Take out the trash!"
Cousin: "You're too heavy to carry."
34. Grandma: *touches curls* "You're hair is feeling dry."
Me: "Just like your turkey."
35. Cousin: "Wheres your holiday spirit?"
Me: "With your dad... No where to be found."
36: Aunt: "I heard your grades are struggling."
Me: "Like the button holding your jeans together."
In all seriousness, just remember to have fun, eat your weight in food and to embrace the true meaning of the day - and that is, to be thankful.
Original source: https://media.giphy.com/media/iPTgmC5FB6Soo/giphy.gif